Many of us have been exposed to divorce horror stories, or have watched the dissolution of a marriage unravel dramatically on a compelling TV drama or on the big screen, all of which may have contributed to the divorce myths that have permeated our perception of what the process might entail. While some divorces can get ugly, there is no real norm for how couples separate. It affects everyone in different ways since no two situations are alike.
If you are in the midst of a divorce, it is important to dispel these common myths as you go through the process.
- Children Prevent Divorce: Children are not a bandage and certainly not an effective way to prevent a divorce from occurring, if that is where a marriage is headed. One of two things can happen in this situation – a divorce will occur anyway, or both parties will remain unhappy. Do not bring children into a marriage for the wrong reasons.
- Disagreements Lead to Divorce: Every couple argues and disagrees, but these occurrences do not inevitably lead to divorce. People do not have identical minds and opinions, so disagreements are to be expected. This myth exists out of a misunderstanding that marriage is meant to be a fairy tale, wherein two people are always constantly in sync with one another. This is not the case. When two people truly love and respect one another, they will disagree, but they will also know when to pull back from a disagreement.
- Divorce is Always Expensive: Certainly some divorces can be costly, but this is not always the case. In fact, couples often choose to handle their divorce out of court by hiring their own attorneys or a mediator to negotiate a mutually agreeable settlement. Doing so significantly reduces the cost of a divorce and allows couples to make their own decisions rather than being subjected to decisions imposed by a judge.
- The Mother Always Gets Custody: While this may have been true in the past, it is no longer true today. Most courts favor contact with both parents, or shared custody, viewing this arrangement as serving the best interests of any children involved. Additionally, if a child is somewhat older and mature, a court may take that child’s preference into account.
- Divorce is Always One Spouse’s Fault: A marriage involves two people and one cannot be totally at fault for a divorce. The issues involved are often caused by both parties. Some people are simply not compatible or outgrow one another. If you have exhausted every option to attempt to salvage your marriage, divorce is the next step. There is no reason for anyone to remain in a marriage that is no longer based on love, trust, and mutual respect.
Experienced San Diego Divorce Lawyers
If you are considering a divorce, or are in the process of filing for one, the skilled San Diego divorce attorneys at Cage & Miles, LLP are here to help guide you through the process. We understand that a divorce can be an overwhelming experience, especially if minor children are involved, so we will work tirelessly to ensure to limit the impact that a divorce can have on them, as well as your future, lifestyle, and finances. With the right representation at your side, a divorce can go more smoothly. Our goal is to guide you in the most respectable way, limiting court involvement and minimizing litigation exposure.
Call us today at (858) 943-2060 to confidentially discuss your case.